Choose an SMS message

Miscellaneous

• Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.
• Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.
• I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.
• Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...
• All of you who believe in psychokinetics, raise 'my' hand ...
  Lots of people stop working once they found a job!
• I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.
• Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.
• The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.
• I said no to drugs, but they did nog listen!
• 10.000 new jobs ... all tax inspectors?!
• Mistakes have been made, others will be punished.
• As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.
• I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it!
• 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
• My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day... I wonder where she'd be by now.
• Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering ...
• Keep the school clean ... stay home!
• Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!
• We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school!
• The word HELLO means: H=How are you? E=Evrything alright? L=Like 2 hear from you! L=Love 2 see you soon O=Obviously I miss you..SO, HELLO
• No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems
• That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.
  The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist
• It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
• It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live
• It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.
• It's the heart afraid of Breaking ... that never learns to dance.
• Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down
• Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it
• A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise ...
• When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months!
• Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
• Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there.
• I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me.
• Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! !
• No one ever died because of hard labour, but I think :"why would I take the risk?"
• I love working. I can look at it for hours.
• We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
• Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.
• Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it !
• You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?
• My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere.
• I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet.
• It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.
• Nok nok. Who's there? ..... Marie ...... Marie who? ...... Marie who wanna...!!
  Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!
• Umm...your .... ZIP is open...
• Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
• Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
• How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.
• Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
• I'm not as dumb as you look.
• If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
• What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
• Linus is like a wigwam,no windows,no gates and an apache inside...